Nevermore


I’m lying in the Dark, haunted by your words
Reminiscing of the little teenage beauty
You challenged, protected, worshipped and chased
Ever mindful of the edge between us
Careful not to fall–scared to become what I could not be
Aware that a single thought
Might rouse the demon lust
Might take me down with you into the deep.

But even the hero must sleep–
And I’m plagued by a terrible Shadow;
She makes her nocturnal visits
Leaning over my bed
Stealing her way into my mind
Filling me with whispers of melancholy and madness.
She is coming to me with Her sadistic charms
Beguiling me and bewitching me with tricks and clever promises
She rapes my mind and my eyes with the dreams and bloody tears of others
They sting like wildfire down my ashen face.
My ashen face! which was once rose-stained
Slowly ages with the sorrow of all our deaths.

Ten thousand tears I would cry to see our world put right again
O but would that those tears could come!
And wash away every rising mist of all our days gone by
I would curse every wicked spider She sent to you
Strike down the terrible webs that bound you to her
Find remedy for the poisons She fed to you
Shine a truth and a light to shrink away Her darkness.

She is waiting always for her next victim.
The web is being spun, the trap is set and ready.
I will not go to Her gently, not now–not ever!
I will remember every kindness you bestowed,
I will hold to my courage and it will shield me,
I will summon my faith like a bolt of lightning,
I will be the fearless, beautiful angel you believed me to be!

I will do this for you, because where you go, I cannot follow.
You go, and yet you stay with me… so I give my goodbyes in this prayer:
May you never let go of the light when you finally find it.
Never give up hope.
Never fall to darkness.
Never again.
Nevermore.

-Spellerella

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