When I gave up hope of knowing if You still think of us,

Shadows filled my Ghosted heart and cast a sick and heavy darkness over me.

I lived my life with my hands, my heart and my face pressed against the glass;

Ever mindful of the impossible separation between what we had and what we’ve made,

Ever hopeful that somehow, someday, you would return for your lost Jewel.

I did not know it then, but I was never alone in my misery, nor was I ever to blame…

You claim you were still with me always- like two white swans, floating inseparable in the dark silence.

I believed I could never dream to be whole again when I lost You from my life;

I was certain when I slammed the door shut that I would lock it tight and never open it again –

Until you re-appeared: ever charming, ever enchanting, ever attractive as Always.

And had there been more Time, you were always my Ever After…

But something wicked was written between our stars to abruptly cross out our story.

We can meet a million times over and I would not miss a chance to dance our unique song–

Until then, I am the ghost Now gazing through the glass;

Spinning fantasies of what was Truth and refusing to believe in what hurts and haunts the most:

The mess becomes a Man and his Unicorn a Ghost… 

And while Knowledge, Music, Art, Culture, Ideas and Romance are finally mine again;

It is only because I can still feel you burning inside of me that I press bravely on…

Still holding tightly to these flowers for Your ghost who visits me now in wake and in dreams,

At a time when it is Impossible to Love;

… but necessary to try.

(exits stage left- slowly; towards the shadow of the Last unicorn herder.)

-S.

It was just a life – full of forgotten possibilities!

Rewritten for the Hopeless Romantic and designed to suspend all disbelief…

A kind of script she was too eager to accept without studying it too closely;

Lots of familiar Players commanding the stage in their clever and elaborate disguises;

They were a welcome distraction to an otherwise empty, lonely space.
Always standing face forward, always mesmerized by the bright lights;

Never focused on the cast beside her, behind her, below her??

Unaware of the growing shadows lingering at the left and the right.

She lost count of all the times there was silence where a line should have been…

Silence — another kind of answer- one that doesn’t require too much elaboration.

And while the foolish playwright scribbles recklessly on,

She holds her breath

So Desperate for an alternate ending that would explain even the comic errors

Time can’t still the story-

Love can’t clear a doubtful heart

And once the Hand reaches into a murky puddle

The Water can never be the same twice;

For there are 3 things in the world which cannot long remain hidden:

The Sun,

The Moon,

And the TRUTH.

-Spellerella.

 

 

Midnight, when the hour is darkest;

And secret things lay hidden just outside the reach of moonlight-

I find myself inexplicably wandering through the rose gardens,

Half expecting to see your ghost…

Barefoot in the wet grass, I choose the reddest bloom;

And deign to contemplate our state under the waxing moon.

Cautious not to touch the thorns, I start the telltale game-

Did we Love, or did we not? And are we still the same…

For when Karma finds two silver hearts

Unbowed, unbent, unbroken;

No doubt the Vixen dares to steal

Each truth, each word, unspoken.

-Once Known As “Beautiful”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• 

JAWHIRA

She was his heart,

He was her armor..

Each with a broken wing to hide away from the world.

And now the hunger games begin!

She was the lighthouse…

But it was he who freed her from the darkness.

She was a challenge, a delight, a mystery;

And he rose to the occasion, with wit, kiss, and charm.

She believed everything was possible

She believed he was free…

But some broken wings never fly again

When they are clipped by their keeper.

And it is a stupid, foolish, desperate heart

That chases after what runs from them;

There is no comfort in taking pleasure

From one who still belongs to someone else.

But for one perfect, stolen moment-

….she was his Jewel.

-S.

And in the morning

They shook their pillows

violently, hoping

all the dreams they lost that night

would tumble out…

-S.

 

 

• 

Raindrop Reverie

The melodic drumming of the pelting raindrops
Filled my ears with their incessant chatter
Their splattered patterns forming only for an instant;
The efficient wipers smeared them into unrecognizable streaks.
Their diversity was symbolic to me—
Setting me in reflection of different moments in my life
The large fat laughing ones
Were the paths I did not follow
Which looking back now,
Perhaps I should have?

-Spellerella.

Midnight; and the daisies swoon at a zephyr’s hand;
My lover smiles to where I stand
With one hand raised to the sky
He pulls a star down from the Heavens
And he hands it to my heart to freely wish upon
Sadly I realize that all the wishes in the world
Could not compare to the fire he has already given me.

-S.

SPEAK TO ME

He who knows the answers
Speak to me I pray you
Of those vast, dark expanses
Which blanket shut our skies of blue.
Speak of those uncut diamonds
Whose fired brilliance our vision cut
To pierce and play upon our eyes
And the curiousity of our continuance.

I pray you, do speak of those mysteries
Over which many men in blatant ignorance
Have tried to be the authority—
Their speculative concoctions nourishment for fool’s fancies.
When and how you deliver your wonders
My ears shall be the recipients of priceless answers.

-Spellerella